Friday, May 15, 2015

A Friday in May

Logan's sleep has been ROUGH.

I mean - newborn level rough.

He has always been a little iffy on the sleep thing, especially as a newborn. I have read a lot on ADHD and I know it's common for little ones like him. There is so! much! to think about!! and settling down is hard. Then when you wake up to pee there are other! things! so! exciting! This morning he woke me up at 4 (after waking me up at 1 after not falling asleep until 9...) and asked for the iPad. Bright eyed awake. Ready for the day.

Of course I told him no.

Anywhoo, this leads me to today. I left work at 12 after a long client meeting. I shopped a little in the Galleria (where my meeting was in the adjacent office building) and stumbled upon Zara...
It is disturbing the amount I could (and probably will) spend in this store.
For instance:
I die from the cute.
I am now dead twice from the cute!
Logan tried on a pair of his swim trunks last weekend and there were...snug. So I grabbed him a pair of these for like $15!!
After that I grabbed a sandwich on the way back towards the office. I realized, at nearly 1pm, that I should just go work from home.

So I did.

I'm tired. Pregnant. Hormonal. And I have the ability to work from my house in my cotton pants while watching the current Mad Men marathon. Why not?!

Then I saw this:
Pinch of Yum
So I made them.
Duh (re: pregnant. hormonal. home alone)

Don't get me wrong. I DID work as well. I may or may not nap (it's only 3:30 currently and Logan/Lee won't be home for 2 hours).

But this time alone at home with cookies, Mad Men, and emails... this introvert needed it!

Tonight we are playing Candy Land and Hi Ho Cheerio tonight for our very first family game night. Those who understand Logan and our struggles realize the accomplishment of sitting down for a board game... File it under things I didn't think were possible.

Enjoy your weekend (if you are still there - I know I take long breaks...)


Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mother's Day 4.0

Today is Mother's Day. It is only my 4th but this year it really seems to mean something to me.

This year is the first year I had to really stand up for my kid and fight for him.
I had to stop myself and look harder at him and understand him.
I had to reach beyond what I knew I could do and make a plan to help him be the best kid he can be.

I love being a mother. Most of the time I struggle with it. I have even stopped and thought "why did I do this?"
After the last few months, some of that has changed. I have a clearer understanding of why being a mother (in my eyes) was so much harder than I understood it to be. Now that we have a plan working for Logan, it's easier.

Oh it's still hard, trust me.

But I no longer sit around pondering what the hell I've been doing wrong.


To take it a step further, I am quitting my job in September to stay home full time with the new baby, Ellie, and to be more available and less stressed for Logan.

What kind of mother will I be when I haven't had a full day of meetings and problems to solve?

What kind of mother will I be when I have had chances in the day to refill my own cup of needs while the baby is asleep?

Sure, not all days will be magic and flowers, but I believe that being able to go for a walk on the bayou instead of rushing through traffic for a meeting that could have been handled on the phone has to be better - for everyone.

I'm looking forward to what our life will look like come September. Adding this surprise baby to the family is something I have no idea how to prepare for mentally or physically, but spiritually I am working hard at it.

Happy Mother's Day to all those mothers out there who, like me, are still figuring it out.

One luke-warm cup of coffee at a time.