Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mother's Day 4.0

Today is Mother's Day. It is only my 4th but this year it really seems to mean something to me.

This year is the first year I had to really stand up for my kid and fight for him.
I had to stop myself and look harder at him and understand him.
I had to reach beyond what I knew I could do and make a plan to help him be the best kid he can be.

I love being a mother. Most of the time I struggle with it. I have even stopped and thought "why did I do this?"
After the last few months, some of that has changed. I have a clearer understanding of why being a mother (in my eyes) was so much harder than I understood it to be. Now that we have a plan working for Logan, it's easier.

Oh it's still hard, trust me.

But I no longer sit around pondering what the hell I've been doing wrong.

Nothing.

To take it a step further, I am quitting my job in September to stay home full time with the new baby, Ellie, and to be more available and less stressed for Logan.

What kind of mother will I be when I haven't had a full day of meetings and problems to solve?

What kind of mother will I be when I have had chances in the day to refill my own cup of needs while the baby is asleep?

Sure, not all days will be magic and flowers, but I believe that being able to go for a walk on the bayou instead of rushing through traffic for a meeting that could have been handled on the phone has to be better - for everyone.

I'm looking forward to what our life will look like come September. Adding this surprise baby to the family is something I have no idea how to prepare for mentally or physically, but spiritually I am working hard at it.

Happy Mother's Day to all those mothers out there who, like me, are still figuring it out.

One luke-warm cup of coffee at a time.

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1 comment:

Shrinking Southern Yankee said...

Exciting times in your household. Happy for you :-).