Tuesday, July 7, 2015

"As long as it's healthy."

Ever hear the cliche "we don't care if it's a boy or girl, as long as it's healthy."

Well I am sitting here at the point where it doesn't sound like a silly saying anymore.

It's true.

So - the little spot on the heart has so far turned out to be nothing. It's common and not harmful and doesn't mean she has any issues.

Last week I went to the Dr and we did another ultrasound to double check the heart and check on her growth since she looked large.

My Dr. comes in and is like "well... now we found a little something between the heart and the lung in a spot where there shouldn't be anything. I need to refer to to a high risk Dr. to double check that."


Then the whole "how have you been feeling?" conversation starts and after I whine about being so tired I can barely function, she decides I am more than likely depressed.

Well I am sure if I read back to the last 2 or 3 posts, it's more than likely true. 2015 has been killer and I am just not able to cope with it anymore.

So I call Lee and cry about this finding and depression and he is pissed he didn't go with me - though we both thought it was just a check up.

The next day the babysitter texts me as she picks up Logan from school. "He got into a fist fight today and was very aggressive with his friends. " So now my mind rewinds to January when all the stress with his behavior issues came to the surface.

Let's say no one should be surprised when I spontaneously burst into tears in the car Friday in the HEB parking lot and cried for at least 10 minutes. Lee just watched and Logan was confused.

Today we were supposed to see the Dr. about the ultrasound. I had ANOTHER ultrasound and the tech seemed confused as to what she was looking for, so I guess that's good. The genetic counselor didn't see anything concerning on her end. And the Dr. was stuck at the hospital delivering twins. So the one person I needed to see to ease our worries didn't show up.

I really miss those large glasses of wine right now.

Baby Ellie looks great. She is estimated about 2.5 pounds and is moving all the time. All I can do is sit and pray (and worry, let's face it) and hope she is healthy.

Prayers are welcome.



Unknown said...

I'm sorry you're going through this, a (hopefully very short) rough patch in your life. Pregnancy is hard enough without the added stress. Prayers for you and baby Ellie both. - Hilary

Shrinking Southern Yankee said...

Oh girl, sounds like you have a lot on your plate. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Chelsea said...

Praying for you and your family! I'm not trying to relate in any way shape or form to all that you are having to deal with, but I'm also pregnant and was "highly encouraged" to get off of my antidepressants which I've been on for YEARS (even through my first pregnancy) so I kinda feel you on that one. Trying to stay positive, but I get it. If you need someone to commiserate with on the home issues...I get that too. We just dealt with a similar pipe issue and are now dealing with major pool issues. I'm bleeding money! Misery loves company? Anyway, just wanted to stop by and say I'm praying for ya!