Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Assumptions

Lately I have this nagging feeling like people assume things about me. It's something that nags at me now and again and usually I just say "oh well, can't help what people think" and I move on.

Lately, however, it's a little more close to home - and it's mostly because of Logan. It's family assuming things about who we prefer watches him when we need some time as a couple.

I knew having a child would start a small competition since Logan has 3 sets of grandparents AND his great-grandparents.  So far, it hasn't been so bad. I have plenty of guilt about how often we can make it up to my home town, but that is something we work out on our own. Everyone is busy. Everyone has their own lives and responsibilities.

what's not to love about this dude?!
 The latest assumption really got me thinking. Things work both ways. Phones especially. I don't like people assuming that something happened a certain way or that I prefer one thing/person over another. Just because I didn't call doesn't mean you can't call me. I can't really be expected to do everything - which I finally figured out after 18 months of being a parent. I tried my damnedest, almost lost my mind, and finally started delegating.

Also - don't assume we drop him off all the time. Quite untrue. It took until a month ago to let him have an overnight. And it was from 4pm - 9am.

Lee and I work from 8am - 5pm. We see Logan an hour in the morning and an hour at night. So weekends are actually time for us to play with him and take him places - not drop him on someone and go out partying.

The hardest part about this latest issue is that it is with someone I have a rocky past with anyway. So, no matter what, the conversation is on the edge of the wrong foot anyway.

However, there wasn't a conversation. There was an assumption plus an accusation. Double whammy! Plus, it wasn't even in the form of a pesky phone call, it was through social media. I was caught off guard and immediately completely pissed off.

So now on top of battling Strep (again) I have a huge stress thrown at me.

I am a generally quiet person. I don't like to offend others. I like to please everyone.

BUT

I have found that with Logan, the momma bear in me has started to not give a shit about what people want to assume and accuse. Go for it. Stew in your thoughts since you don't want to call me and talk it out instead. You will now see him when I deem fit.

My child.

My rules.

Non negotiable.

my two main men!

(sorry, venting is over - how do you handle family conflicts?)

Photobucket

8 comments:

Em S said...

Bring out the Mama Bear, your child, your rules.

Joshua said...

Exactly. My child, my rules. You don't like it? Piss off.

Quite honestly, I'm glad my SIL just had her first kid (they had a lot of problems getting there), because now she won't try to steal my kids anymore.

brianandhilary620 said...

Oh family drama!! I think we all can relate. :)

Excuses: My parents still have my sister going to school (college) and my dad travels a lot. So they like to spend time on the weekends at home.

But don't come to me and complain if you're not getting enough time with my son if you're not making any effort yourself...

In our family, usually the best answer is to just not talk about whatever issue is bothering you. Or make a terrible joke about it.

Alice said...

GREAT POST!! I try to be as reasonable as possible but my kids are mine and I make the decisions. To hell with what others say!
I have my parents, Alan's parents, and my grandparents (which I always prefer over everyone else). Then I have one sister and Alan has 2 sisters. I do NOT go out a lot. At all. Like you, I work and I am gone and away from my 3 kids for almost 50 hours a week (7-5). So I get to spend about 3 hours a night with them. In that time, I have to cook, clean, bathe (or tell the older 2) kids, etc. And don't forget the extras that come with the older 2. So I take Colton (my 2 year old) with me to whatever he can come too. Always. Anyways, Alan's older sister is always griping she doesn't get Colton, blah blah blah. And his parents are always griping they don't get to see Colton. Well you have a car, you know where we live. Come over! Colton has only stayed the night away from me 3 times and it was at my grandparents and it was usually from 6pm to 7am. LOL! I am so attached to this kid, it is driving me crazy. Stick to your guns!!

Chiquitisha said...

Amen!
My MIL is out-of-town but I am a control freak and I dont trust anyone to take care of my kids other than my mom. So I know if i had family in town we would have drama.
My mom lives in Brazil so she comes to Houston every 12 weeks and stays for 8 week at a time and this is when I get to socialize and hang out with friends without a sitter. I am a full time working mother as well.
Not cool to call you out on a social media. Sucks you have to go through that. But at the same time feel lucky you can drop Logan off once and again because I dont have that luxury. I really have to work on my attachments issues with my kids. But they are only small once! :(

Diane Haynes said...

Very well written Breann.
I like all the comments too.
I agree with everyone.
Good job ladies!!

Diane Haynes said...

Oppps and Joshua!

Billy Tatum said...

I wish I lived closer!
love you Big Cuz!