Friday, October 21, 2011

People of Starbucks

We have all seen those "People of Walmart" sites and other embarrassing photos... but there are times I am in Starbucks and I think about the kind of people who frequent this establishment (myself included.) If you stop and look around, it really is quite the eclectic group. I don't have photos but here is how I see the group.

The Regular:
At my 'Bucks this is an old man who is normally wearing headphones and sitting in one of the cushy chairs. Other regulars stop and talk to him and admire his jean shorts and socks/sandals combination. Favorite Drink: Coffee. Isn't that why he is in a coffee shop?

High School Students:
You mainly see these kiddos if you are stopping in around 7:30/8am. There are times when they have shown up later and I am thinking to myself "what time does school start these days?" The girls have their hair in a slept-in-it ponytail and wrinkled uniform. Don't get me started on the boy's hair cuts... Favorite Drink: Passion Fruit Tea Lemonade.
*yes, I am an 80 year old woman these days*

You know these guys. Skinny jeans, funky shirts, really odd shoes. My deal with them is that they shouldn't be at a Starbucks. They are too cool for that. They should be at some emo "organic" coffee shop that plays new wave music in the background. Their favorite coffee would more than likely include hemp.

Gym Bunnies:
These are my favorite. More than likely they have a kid or 2 with them and although they are wearing an outfit that suggests they are going to the gym, the hair and makeup state otherwise. They wave at other Gym Bunnies and get ogled by the fancy car driving CEO's. Favorite Drink: Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte, extra skinny.

Ferrari, Porsche, Maserati, Lamborghini... these are usually in a row in front of Starbucks with below-average-in-height men emerging from them for their latte. They are wearing insanely expensive shirts and barely look up from their iPhone except to ogle the Gym Bunnies. Favorite Drink: Venti Black Eye.

Because there isn't a Dunkin Donuts nearby and a cop has to have a place to hide... Favorite Drink: Grande Americano.
Construction Workers: 
More than likely working on a fancy new store in the shopping center nearby, they sneak over for good coffee while the others hit up the Exxon station. They are slightly in the closet about their love for Starbucks because it makes them a little less rough around the edges. Favorite Drink: Coffee, because what the hell is a Pumpkin Spice Latte?



Donald said...

Oh no - you made me a Construction Worker! That's what I started with, was coffee, thinking "what the hell is a [insert various names here] latte??"
(explains the steel toe boots obsession in college)

Oh - the CEOs are also now carrying around their iPads. *rolls eyes*

LOVE "the hair and makeup state otherwise"! Ha!

Anonymous said...

Great analysis! I usually forget to go in while they have the pumpkin coffee drinks, and that's my favorite. Pictures would be fun, but you painted great pictures with your words!

Anonymous said...

I used to work for Starbucks. Truth be told, that is a very accurate analysis, and was just as true ten years ago as it is today.

Tiffanie {Pineapples and Pickles} said...

This made me laugh! Love it.

linnea paulina said...

These observations are right on. You are hilarious :o)