I had a Dr appt for reflux diagnosis...
So you THINK you have reflux?
Jan. 15th, 2007 | 02:33 pm
I feel...: cheerful
...Let's take a test to be sure!
So I went to the Dr last week since I had pain when swallowing and I didn't think that was normal. After checking around in my throat, the Dr. decided that it was more than likely reflux. So I was scheduled today to go in and take the official test to see if I have it. Weeeeelll... this test is one of the strangest things I have ever had to do.
I get to the office and I had to put on a gown and robe. The robe was thinner than the gown, so i am not sure what the point was, other than to hide the headlights that were on because it was so damn cold in there! I was told I needed to put on some socks, and since they didn't have any there, so I had to put on mine.... this is where I continued the ride on Humiliation Express. The socks I had decided to wear today were my red and green toe socks. So here i go, walking down the hall in this gown/robe thing and my knee-high red toe socks..
I get into this room and the girl tells me I will be drinking this fizzy stuff and that it may make me want to burp but DON'T! Swollow it back down. Sounds great huh?
So I drink this sour shit and I am making nice faces and I being led to this platform and she hands me a cup about 3/4 full of this white stuff. I think she poured Mylanta into a cup and told me it was something else.
So I am standing on this platform and this little dr guy comes out of no where and is asking me some questions. Then he hides behind this little glass window and starts telling me to drink this white crap and drink it continually until i finish it. GROSS. I wouldn't give this stuff to my worst enemy and here these people are making me drink it in one swoop.
While I am drinking this thing is moving all around me taking pictures of my insides i suppose. When I am done I want really badly to wipe my mouth since I know I have a Mylanta Mustach. Then I am told to turn around and face the back of the platform and lean against it. Without telling me, the wall starts to tilt! Before I know it I am laying on my stomach. It has been tilted about halfway before the dr says "we are tilting the platform." He gets a sign for "Mr. Obvious." So after i am completely laid out, the chick comes back with another glass of that crap and a wierd plastic pillow thing and asks me to lay on my side and drink. So I start to drink and the man says "drink faster if you can." Are you kidding me? This crap is disgusting!
So then I was told to roll onto my stomach, then my right side, then my back, then my left side, then my back, then my right side, then my back again. So I am flopping around on the table like a damn fish and he says "stop breathing." ? Stop breathing? Do you mean hold my breath? Then "Take a deep breath." But he never says to let it out! So I made the executive decision after a moment to let it out. Then he says "Did you feel that?"
Me: No
Him: Well, when you held your breath you refluxed all the way up to the top of your throat.
Me: Oh. *thinking: You think? You just had me drink 2 glasses of shit on an empty stomach and then tilted me in the air and made me roll around for five minutes! ANYONE would reflux after that you asshole*
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Naked Flower saving...
Flowers
Apr. 18th, 2007 | 01:18 pm
Where am I?: Work... shh don't tell!
I feel...: busy
Noise in my head...: Radio Margaritaville
So Monday I bought some pretty flowers for the patio so that it will look festive for the Jimmy Buffett party on Saturday! I got some pretty pink zinnias and some purple petunias. The advice I was given: don’t get the zinnia’s leaves/petals wet when watering, don’t over water the petunias and you will be fine!
Everyone knows that I am a bit of a plant-killer…
Well I am in bed at 10:15 and what happens? It starts to rain…. Buckets… my first thought: my anti-water flowers! They will DIIEEEEE before Saturday and I spent like $50 on all that stuff (I got dirt, fertilizer and impatiens to, but still..)
What do I do?
I jump out of bed and run out in the backyard in nothing but my panties (thank you privacy fence!) and started toteing flowers into the house! It was a real shock to the system to get soaking wet and then stand in the very cold house! So I dry off and get back in bed with wet hair and I am shivering and Lee looks at me and says “You. Are. Crazy.”
I say “I WILL NOT be held responsible for those flowers dieing b/c of a rainstorm!”
He says “my god.”
Oh well, at least my patio will be festive and you can’t tell me that I didn’t try!
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Part of my last LJ post .....
Luther passed almost 2 years ago. I had made a comment about how i won't hear Luther's snores anymore or be greeted when I come home.
A few weeks after Luther died, we got Lola. I had much guilt about how quickly we got another dog, but i realized that this was our first dog together (as Luther was my dog since childhood) and that I needed a little bundle to nurture and ease the pain of losing my friend.
Now, Luther always greeted me, up until the last few weeks. Mind you, I had to wake him up off the couch, but he then said hello!!
The amount of greeting I started to get from Lola was pretty high octane! It made me feel needed, let me tell you!
A year after we got Lola, we decided she needed a pal. In June we got Teddy, another mini schnauzer.
Again, the amount of greeting I get when I get home has deafened anyone who happens to be on the phone with me when I come in the door! Barking and "schnauzer screaming" commences while I am still in the garage! I am sure passer-bys wonder what in the world is happening inside!
As for the snoring... Luther's sweet snores came from the floor on his doggie bed. Lola and Teddy both sleep in the bed with us (thank goodness for the King size!) and the snoring is a little more up close!
So once again, I get my greetings and snores.
But now and then, I still open my nightstand, touch Luther's collar, and think of him.
A very, very good dog.
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After this post I moved to Blogger... I hope you enojoyed my throw backs!
4 comments:
The toe socks are rocking. Never be embarrassed!!!!
Ditto on the toe socks. A staple for walking around my office in the winter.
AND. I loved Luther too. You almost made me tear up talking about looking at his collar. I just don't know what I'm going to do when one of my animals passes.
Aw, I love the post about Luther...so sweet and sad at the same time. :)
Oh wow, that reflux test seems like something else! I'm surprised it wasnt' coming back up, and by coming back up, I don't mean in a burp!
As for your puppies, they are adorable, and I LOVE the name Lola!
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