Monday, August 15, 2011

Magazine Rack

Once again I am standing in line at the grocery store and I see the crazy celeb magazines. I admit, I am a reformed celebrity magazine junkie. I used to eat them up and read them on the way home from the store. I used to read Perez Hilton's site daily.
Now? If it isn't in Entertainment Weekly magazine (which is mostly about movies and tv shows) then I don't really know what's going on. I am an avid fan of sites like The Stir and MamaPop (both written by fellow bloggers), which gives me a celebrity fix without going over board.

When I see these magazines, I am always curious of the REAL story behind the headline. Let's get started shall we?

The Rack in Question
 First up let's address poor Jennifer Aniston, who is on a whopping 3 magazines at once!!
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Headline: Jen and Justin's Shotgun Wedding! (with preggo photo in the corner)
Real Story: PMS with a flowy shirt. Who hasn't been there?

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Headline: Yes I'm Having a Baby! (with another shot of the flowy shirt)
Real Story: have you googled "Jennifer Aniston Headlines" in awhile? As I was searching for the images I noticed that every time she is dating she is ready for the "wedding of the year" or is pregnant OR is Adopting! TWINS! I bet if I would have the time to peruse this magazine, it would have been all talk about how bad she WANTS a baby. That doesn't sell magazines, I suppose.

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Headline: Trying for a Baby! (aaaand there is that purple shirt again)
Real Story: See below the big yellow text? "to start a family..." This is the one magazine so far that isn't assuming she is already pregnant and showing and actually making a statement that maybe she is just thinking about having a kid.
I am a big Jennifer fan. If she wants to have a baby then that is great. But at this point, it all seems like "crying wolf" from the magazines and when she really IS pregnant, it will take extensive proof to believe it!

Moving on to the next big selling cover - Kardashians!

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Headline: Secrets of Kim's Wedding
Real Story: There will be an insanely expensive dress that makes her ass look even bigger, her sisters are both Maid/Matron of honor, Mason is the ring bearer, and her mother will make the day be about her instead. Sound about right?

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Headline: Kate-Refusing to Eat
Real Story: British food is terrible and maybe she has a bad case of morning pukes (oh look I am starting a new rumor!) Please don't drive this woman crazy like they did Princess Di. PLEASE.
And look... Jennifer news in the side bar...

Lastly - Sandra!
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Headline: How Sandra Got her Groove Back!
Real Story: She dumped that cheating thug, probably banged hottie Ryan, and has a sweet little boy and some recent super hit movies. However, I do like People magazine and feel they are the most legit with their news, and at least this headline doesn't insinuate anything happening.
Seriously with Beiber? SERIOUSLY? (side note: now I know how my parents felt about NYOKB)

There you have it, another case of blown-out-of-proportion celeb magazines.

Have a great week!

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6 comments:

Chloe said...

Oh, you could post about this one day a week! I love this post!
It's so funny!!
Please, keep posting this!!

em said...

I agree, I like this on Monday mornings...feels almost as though I'm reading TMZ...except less trashy.

Joshua said...

I'll admit to reading the titles on the covers when I'm checking out at the grocery store. Most of the time I'm just laughing to myself.

brianandhilary620 said...

This is good -- when I'm staring at the magazines looking for something trashy to read (seriously) then I will know which one to pick :) Love it!

Breann said...

I will try my best!

Megan said...

very funny post! & so true! i always wonder what the real stories are behind the awful headlines! its interesting to see the PICTURES of the celebritys but thats about it!