Let me ask you - is work/life balance even really achievable?
Are you (we) always just trying to "make things work?"
I feel like I am always scrambling to get all the pieces together, and all it does it create more issues for me to scramble against.
Why does it seem like if work is going great, home is a mess? and vise-versa?
Or why does the shit storm always hit at once?
This week has been baby ear infection / missed work / sleepless nights / angry client / husband leaving town / mother coming into town / need to clean the house / crazy long to do lists / dropping the ball / more sick baby / oh shit I better start planning his birthday /
Scramble Scramble Scramble.
And what happens at the end of the day? I have a glass of wine or
What happens to us that we feel the pressure to be 100% at all three of our roles?
Wife
Mother
Employee
That means you need to be 300%!
Then what? You quit your job and eat Ramen Noodles because you just dropped your lifestyle to non-existent? Are you then feeling that you are failing at having a good home life because money is so strapped?
I love my husband and baby.
I love my job.
I don't love the act of meeting the needs of everyone at once. I have this sense of failure at times that leaves me wondering why I even try..
Yes, the Zoloft helps but still... I don't want to turn to that forever.
Where is this "balance" when you get home at 5:30pm and proceed to shove play time/bath time/dinner time/ bed time into less than 2 hours? Then you still need to be a non-vegetable to interact with the husband and pets and fold laundry and clean up dinner and watch a funny tv show and..
Holy shit I am tired.
5 comments:
Answer = you can't be 300%...I'm in the same boat here as was presented with a situation where I almost had to look for another job (or become dirt broke) at the drop of a hat. Long story short, somethings gotta give. You can't do it all every. single. day. It totally sucks when the husband isn't there to help. I've figured, take it day by day, and if something doesn't get done by the end of the day, well, tough shit, I need to sleep too. On another note...I gave you the Versatile Blogger Award :)
You said it, lady. It's a war. Focus on one area, the others suffer. It sucks. If you figure it out, please let the rest of us poor souls know.
Learning to let the things go that don't matter is the hardest part. Underwear sitting in the laundry basket instead of put away for a week? A-OKAY. I feel like this too, and often feel like I am just going through the motions. I haven't been getting much sleep lately, and found the other day that I hadn't washed bottles the night before. That meant going in later to work. Which meant staying later. It's a vicious cycle and most of the time, I just try not to think about it and remember that it's not forever, that everything changes and I should just enjoy what I can where I am at today. It all gets to us sometimes...
To some degree, it should get better once Logan is a little older. Once he can walk and talk and get some things for himself, that eases some of that stress.
Granted, you'll still want to do playtime and quality time, but it can be balanced more easily once he's somewhat self-sufficient.
Bless your heart. Just know you are not alone and the best advice comes from other mothers that did it before you. I'v learned sometimes I have to let some things go and ask the people around me for understanding.
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