Sunday, March 20, 2011

Mawwage...

Who doesn't love The Princess Bride? "Mawwage..."

Speaking of Marriage, Lee and I had an interesting conversation with another couple (not yet married but they should already, geeze) about it. We are friends with a couple that we all think have a "Power Struggle" marriage. We don't see it as very loving and giving.

I don't want to give the impression that we sit around and gossip about other friends. This was actually a very heartfelt conversation about how we, as outsiders, see this other marriage.
As we were talking, our friend said "I have always thought you guys have one of those rare marriages. It just works."

This blew me away. I mean we all like to think we have THE marriage. The one people envy and want to have. But to hear someone actually say they can see we have a healthy marriage, made me really happy.

Lee and I have sat and talked about marriage before. We believe that when you get married, you aren't in it to change the other person or to hold him/her back. You should only marry that person if you are happy with who they ARE. You can't have these notions that you will mold them into who you really wish they were.

You also can't be a selfish schmoe. Sure, we all have our indulgences... but if you start to see that something you do very often is starting to cause a problem - you need to evaluate if that something is truly worth it.

Bringing Logan into the picture caused a lot of internal conflict for me while I was pregnant. Lee and I are so happy. We know what the other is thinking... we know where they will say they want to go to dinner before you even ask... we are peas and carrots people! So when we decided to have a baby, I freaked a little. This was going to uproot the very thing we have so much ultimate trust in...

In the end, it made us stronger. We saw each other step up to the plate in ways we never had to before. We are watching each other raise this little person who brings us joy every day.

We had to really become less selfish as a couple and as individuals as well.

Lee and I also got married relatively young for today's standards. We were 25, fresh from college, not 2 pennies to rub together. However, we both knew within 2 weeks that this was it for us.

This after I had been with someone for 4.5 years.. I am with Lee 2 weeks and I am sold.
That is a scandalous story for another time...

3 comments:

Transplant said...

I love that scandalous story. And I love you guys!

Chloe said...

Oh, I want to hear about that scandalous story!! Please?
You're so right. Loved this post.
Marriage is not aimed to change the other person. Marriage means you accept the person the way he/she is, and you'll always try to make him/her happy.

Ryan and Jessica DeWitt said...

I remember those days, but I don't see it as scandal. I see it as you finally being happy, I was SO happy that you found someone who loved you for who you were!