Whomever out there that is listening...

Dear Lottery Committee:
Or
Dear Give-My-Husband-A-Substantial-Raise Committee:

I can bake.
I can cook a mean pot roast.
I can iron.
I have spawned a small human being and successfully nurtured him for 12+ weeks.
(I mean he is alive and he smiles so... doing good right?)
I look pretty cute in my pink apron.
I read Parenting Magazine, Real Simple, and Food Network magazine.

I believe these things all qualify me to be a kept woman.

Please consider my application and let me know soon if I can quit my job and stay home with my tiny spawn to bake cookies, walk the dogs to the back door over and over., make large dinners ready precisely when my husband walks in the door from work, and even fetch (yes, FETCH!) him a beer when his is empty.

Maybe even wear cute night gowns with matching robes.

Thanks,
Frustrated with my job after only 4 days back.
or
Missing my little baby boy immensely.